Success largely boils down to a simple distinction. It’s glaringly obvious once you see it, but also easy to find ingenious ways of ignoring it: do the real thing and stop doing fake alternatives. Consider one person who wrote to me saying she turned down a job working in French. She didn’t feel her French …
As far as goals go, hiking the 2,650-mile Pacific Crest Trail (PCT) is one of the more ambitious ones. When you ask people how they did it—something I’ve been doing for the past two years as a journalist—they don’t credit willpower. Instead, they say that pursuing the goal made them feel fully alive. Perhaps you …
My youngest will be going off to college next fall, meaning I’ll soon be an empty nester. After having raised my kids for the last 22 years or so, a large part of my purpose in life will leave along with my son. I know I’m not alone in feeling both sad and panicky about …
There’s a version of Tuesday where you stand in front of the closet for four minutes, not because you have nothing to wear but because choosing between two nearly identical shirts feels like a problem you physically cannot solve. The day hasn’t even started. You haven’t opened your email or spoken to anyone. But something …
Many of us know someone who genuinely seems to enjoy routines: My most popular article from last year was about how to learn to love self-discipline, and routines raise the same basic question: Are routine-lovers wired differently, or is loving routines just a nut you haven’t cracked yet? The answer is probably a bit of both. …
I usually like to keep things positive. I like to talk with my clients about what they can do to improve themselves and promote better mental and physical health. However, part of my job is to help people identify behavior patterns that prevent them from reaching their goals. That means that we have to talk about …
Kick 5 Bad Habits That Keep You From Crushing Your Goals Read More »
You want that new video game so badly, but you’re trying to knock your credit card balance down. Or you’re binging your favorite TV show and can’t wait to find out if a character lives, but it’s late, and you need to be alert for work tomorrow. Just exert a little self-control, you tell yourself. But …
How to Build Self-control, According to Psychologists Read More »
When most people think about success, they imagine achieving a big goal: landing the dream job, running a thriving business, or getting in the best shape of their lives. But the truth is, success isn’t just about reaching the finish line—it’s about getting there in a way that’s balanced, meaningful, and even enjoyable. I want …
Success Is Hard Until You Build Systems Like This Read More »
Good morning, You’ve been staring at that blank document for three days now. Waiting for inspiration. Waiting for the perfect opening line. Waiting for your brain to feel sharp and creative and ready to produce genius-level work. Meanwhile, that project deadline is getting closer and your anxiety is getting louder. Here’s what nobody tells you …
6 months had passed, and as I looked at the calendar, I groaned in discouragement. What happened to the half-marathon I was going to complete? What about the blog I planned to start? I had so many big goals and lofty plans, but I made little progress accomplishing them. Life just got busy, and immediate needs trumped my bigger …
